蜻蜓

若我只配做個過客
不必記著我名字
不必記起我樣子

但求那一串漣漪
在妳記憶留下一絲感動
為妳生命帶來一點震撼

Song of the Week, 2011-43, as long as you are happy, Cloud Cult

We are just a bunch of chemical reaction
driven by the occasional happiness injection

Song of the Week, 2011-39, Wait, Alexi Murdoch

 

黃葉等待勇敢的北風
吹散腳上的枷鎖
擺脫烈日的勞役
讓它在自由中枯萎
讓它在尊嚴中衰亡

泥土等待成熟的黃葉
帶來久違的滋潤
迎接繁華的未來
讓它在溫暖中休眠
讓它在豐盛中避寒

新芽等待富饒的泥土
壓破堅實的籠牢
探索未知的光明
讓它在擁抱中茁壯
讓它在鼓勵中成長

其實皆不盡然
沒有勇敢的北風，黃葉也會遭摒棄
沒有成熟的黃葉，泥土便另結新歡
有沒有富饒的泥土，新芽未發，種子先被吃掉

時間從不停留
世界從不等待

等待是一種苛求
對渴望被等待的人如此
對被要求等待的人更是

但是能等我一下嗎？
讓我們一起尋找自由
讓我們一起建立未來
讓我們一起探索光明

Song of the Week, 2011-36, Full Moon, The Black Ghost

Where is home?
The place where we were born?
The place where we grew up?
The place where we found love?
The place where we found meaning?

I think...
Home is the place where we know something, or someone, is waiting for our return.
 
xxx xxx xxx

When the Full Moon turns white that's when I'll come home
I am going out to see what I can sow
And I don't know where I'll go
And I don't know what I'll see
But I'll try not to bring it back home with me

Like the morning sun, your eyes will follow me
As you watch me wander, curse the powers that be
Cause all I want is here and now but its already been and gone
Our intentions always last that bit too long

Far far away, no voices sounding, no one around me and
you're still there
Far far away, no choices passing, no time confounds me and
you're still there

In the full moons light I listen to the stream
And in between the silence hear you calling me
But I don't know where I am and I don't trust who I've been
And If I come home how will I ever leave

Song of the Week, 2011-035, 願, 林憶蓮

矛盾好像從來都是貶義的。

我們的社會容不下矛盾的事和人，好像我們自出生便要歸邊，非黑即白。要是你有一絲的動搖便是牆頭草、是不要臉的蝙蝠、是沒有主見。所以有些人學會掩飾，學會虛偽，希望用巧言和包裝來蓋過那不被容許的矛盾。但矛盾永遠存在，存在於事物間，存在於關係中、也存在於我們各人的心裡。思考並不令我們免於陷入矛盾，反而思考使我們更發覺矛盾的無可避免。

很喜歡盧梭的一句話「我寧願成為一個自相矛盾的人也不願意成為一個充滿偏見的人」(I would rather be a man of paradoxes than a man of prejudices)。但愈來愈發覺要大方承認自己的矛盾一點也不容易，即使我們每天都過著自相矛盾的日子。

xxx xxx xxx

這篇有點不知所云… 因為近日陷入混沌狀態，就是在思考自己生活中的一些矛盾。

這首《願》充斥著矛盾感，也是我這幾天不停聽著的一首歌。

林夕的詞可以殺人。

希望快點找到出口。

Song of the Week, 2011-034, Falling Slowly, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova

這是我很喜歡的一套電影《Once》的主題曲，亦是2008年的奧斯卡最佳原創音樂獎得主。

《Once》是一套很特別的電影，雖然是低成本製作，卻一點也不馬虎，整套戲很自然很有真實感。導演 John Carney 稱它為一套音樂劇，這說法是挺準確的，而且電影的 Soundtrack 都要比很多 album 更有質素。相信這跟電影的參與者很多都其實是音樂人有關，男主角 Glen Hansard 是愛爾蘭 The Frames 樂隊的主音和結他手，女主角 Marketa Irglova 是來自捷克的音樂人並跟 Glen Hansard 另外組成了 The Swell Season, 就連導演 John Carney 本身其實也曾經是 The Frames 的低音結他手。這個背景不單肯定了電影的音樂質素，而且也確保了演員和導演的投入感，因為《Once》就是一個獨立音樂人的故事，我什至懷疑有些是他們的個人經歷。

我不打算說太多電影的情節，不過想說香港的譯名《一奏傾情》實在有點馬虎。的確《Once》的故事圍繞男女主角之間的曖昧及情感交流，但我認為那只是電影的部分，其實有另一重要部分是描寫夢想跟現實的角力和掙扎，男女主角各有自己的困難和障礙，而他們在追尋夢想時的互相扶持和提醒是最吸引我的地方。我覺得電影名稱《Once》並非只是說他們那段稍縱即逝的愛情，它其實包含著更深入有關夢想、回憶、情感、機遇等等各種的唯一的感受。

每一次都是唯一，但有些唯一將永遠留在心裡。


p.s. 因為《Once》而認識 Marketa Irglova ，實在太吸引了。是充滿氣質的美，發覺我對這些女生是完全沒有抵抗力的。

xxx xxx xxx

"games that never amount
to more than they're meant
will play themselves out"

For game like this
Futility and emptiness should be expected
Yet it is still tough when things fall apart slowly in front of your eyes
Things that you tried to make an effort
Things that you put your heart into
When it is time to close the curtain they don't really mean anything

I am not giving up yet
But I am waiting for the curtain call
Before that I will give my best and enjoy what's left of it

Just woke up from an immensely bitter and painful dream.
I have to remember it, as it might come true one day.

Be prepared for any consequences that you can think of for the path that you have chosen.
Reality can be much tougher than every nightmares that you can ever dream of.

"Do not regret, move on."

Song of the Week, 2011-029, Just a Boy, Angus & Julia Stone

"Love is not a habit, a commitment, or a debt. It isn't romantic songs tell us it is - love simply is... No definitions. Love and don't ask too many questions. Just love." (Coelho 2006: 258)

"You say you'd love to travel, but you misuse the word love. Love is a relationship between people. Your one desire is for the harvest to be a good one, and that's why you've decided to love the earth. More nonsense: love isn't desire or knowledge or admiration. It's a challenge, it's an invisible fire." (Coelho 2006: 183)

"It can not be desired because it is an end in itself. It cannot betray because it has nothing to do with possession. It cannot be held prisoner because it is a river and will overflow its banks. Anyone who tries to imprison love will cut off the spring that feeds it, and the trapped water will grow stagnant and rank." (Coelho 2006: 196)

"After all, what is happiness? Love, they tell me. But love doesn't bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it's a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; it's sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we're doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony." (Coelho 2006: 129)

"According to the Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran, it was more important to give than to receive, but while these were wise words, I was part of what is known as "humanity," with my frailties, my moments of indecision, my desire simply to live in peace, to be the slave of my feelings and to surrender myself without asking any questions ........." (Coelho 2006: 243)

I take each step with courage and fear
Did I say I am just a boy

we live in a reality that is constructed and destroyed by dreams.

Song of the Week, 2011-026, 十個救火的少年, 達明一派

今年七一又是全家總動員(其實只是爸媽我三人)。

其實已經不抱什麼期望。但希望香港人都能夠多點留意時事和政治，不要把「政治都很骯髒」、「只是政客的遊戲」、「遴唔到我去理」、「搵食更緊要」等等作為政治或時事冷感的藉口。政治就在我們身邊直接影響著我們的生活。

「政治都很骯髒」所以我們更加要多留意、多監察，不要讓它變得更骯髒。為什麼「只是政客的遊戲」?因為我們都沒有去留意他們所作所為，所以讓他們把直接影響我們的政策玩弄於股掌。為什麼「遴唔到我去理」?因為當我們都不去理的時候，當權者便可以獨攬大權，到時你想改變更為困難，不是要人人都參政，但我們都應該多留意身邊發生的事，特別是直接影響我們生活的事。「搵食」固然緊要，很多政策決定便直接影響「搵食」，搵食艱難當然必須自己付出更多努力，同時也要留意自己的處境，爭取一個公平的搵食環境。

我以前都是一個對政治和時事完全冷感的人。雖然現在也說不上很熱衷，但已有很大改善，並且會經常提醒自己。兩段說話令我改變，以下是其中一段︰

首先他們對付共產黨員，我沒有為他們說什麼，因為我不是共產黨員；
接著他們對付工會會員，我沒有為他們說什麼，因為我不是工會會員；
接著他們對付猶太人，我也沒有為他們說什麼，因為我不是猶太人；
然後他們對付我，但那個時候已經沒有人會為我挺身而出。

這是出自一位經歷過納粹統治和二次大戰的德國學者。說出他為當初沒有挺身而出嘗試阻止納粹黨擴張而後悔。香港應該尚未有這麼危急，但我們應當保持警覺。

我們也應多加體諒和理解不同的人以不同形式去發聲。或者現在你覺得他們是滋擾，到不幸地有天你的權利被剝削時，你會渴望有這麼一些人可以跟你一起挺身而出。你不必同意他們，但我們必須捍衛大家發聲的權利。至於發聲的方式是否激進就應根據當權者所提供的途徑是否有效和公平來判斷，而不應以方式的本身去界定。

xxx xxx xxx

《十個救火的少年》達明一派

在某午夜火警鐘聲響遍
城裡志願灌救部隊發現
站立在橋邊

十個決定去救火的少年
其中一位想起他少鍛鍊
實在是危險 報了名便算

另有別個勇敢的成員
為了要共愛侶一起更甜
靜悄靜悄 便決定轉身竄

又有為了母親的勸勉
在這社會最怕走得太前
罷了罷了 便歸家往後轉

十個決定去救火的少年
來到這段落 祗得七勇士
集合在橋邊

為了決定去救火的主見
其中三位竟終於反了臉
謾罵著離開 這生不願見

尚有共四個穩健成員
又有個願說郤不肯向前
在理論裡 沒法滅火跟煙

被撇下了這三位成員
沒法去令這猛火不再燃
瞬息之間 葬身於這巨變

在這夜這猛火像燎原
大眾議論到這三位少年
就似在怨 用處沒有一點

在這夜這猛火像燎原
大眾議論到這三位少年
亂說亂說 愈說祗有愈遠

Song of the Week, 2011-024, Riverside, Agnes Obel

Storm accompanied
by calmness and tranquility;
Decadence drowned
in sweetness and joy.

As it devour us
we fall into ecstasy
and slowly wither away.

Song of the Week, 2011-023, 紅豆, 王菲

難道就沒有想過這如飛蛾撲火 ? 不可能吧 ...
不過試著換個角度去詮釋，換個方式去演繹。

我說過
我相信無常 ;
我相信虛無。
我說過
我懷疑命運 ;
我懷疑真理。
我依然如此相信。

但同時我也相信
當下這一刻於我的真實和永恆，
也相信這一刻往後的無盡可能。
因為無常，因為虛無，
我更會試著爭取，
我更會永遠珍惜，
不論盡頭是如何。

什麼時候是盡頭 ?
我們都不知道。
所以才會選擇留戀不放手。
撲向火光是因為相信 ;
相信火光背後的美好，
相信故事還未到盡頭。

那很傻 ? 或許 ...
如果選擇相信是很傻的話。
但要是一切都無常都虛無，
選擇相信也沒什麼壞，
至少我忠於這一刻的真實，
至少我尋過這一刻的可能。
我選擇了相信。
不是哀痛的飛蛾
而是淡淡的紅豆。

"我會相信一切有盡頭
相聚離開　都有時候
沒有甚麼會永垂不朽
可是我　有時候
寧願選擇留戀不放手"

Song of the Week, 2011-022, 六月飛霜, 陳奕迅

鹿死誰手

Song of the Week, 2011-020, Ремонт , Flёur

The Monday just passed was a rainy day. I went to university to return some books, accompanying me was an old friend who studied in the university for his undergraduate. He was amazed by the changes and renovations going-on in the campus. As we walked around the campus, he told me fragments of stories and memories. It is hard to believe 5 years (for me it is 4) has passed since we graduated and got ourselves into the real world (somehow I got myself back into the dream world of uni again, at least for a year).

I remembered when I was small, a day felt like a century, everything seemed to run in slow motion. Now, time is passing too quickly. Bomb, a day passed without notice. Bomb, a year passed with a blink. Things are changing in a flying pace.

"Things lead life of their own
When you are not looking"

This is an excerpt from the lyrics of the song. I guess many people have thought about it when they were little. I admit I did, I thought my stationaries communicate with each other and plan for an escape when I was asleep. I dropped the idea shortly when I found my lost pens, rulers, rubbers etc. under my bed covered in dust.

But now I kind of agree with it... in a different sense.

xxx xxx xxx

Flёur - Ремонт
(Flёur - Remodeling)

There are no tries
or home,
no silent allies in twilight
no dogs that I would know

Flowers in neat flowerbeds
Everything looks different
Unfamiliar, new
As if it's always been this way

It's definitely the right place
Just not the right time
Different time of year
Different time of day
It was so interesting
Mom, Dad and Summer

And I've turned into someone
Not paying attention to what was between the lines

Everything's covered with plaster
and freshly painted
Numerous little jobs completed
How do I go back to this other life
That seems like a fairy tail
When everything has been remodeled

It feel like I can see everything
But I can't wake up
I know that objects (things) lead life of their own
When you don't look at them
And the world behind your back is constantly moving
All it takes is to turn around
And I got distracted just for a second
When everyone around me changed completely

政治目的

今天的行政長官答問大會我們那行政長官甫進立法會便以"社會有意見"之名批評一些政黨為"一己政治目的"， 以法律程序及其他手段阻礙大型機建項目發展， 損害"香港整體及長遠利益"。 本人不才， 對於法律程序、 司法獨立、 法治精神等方面及不上行政長官那獨到的見解， 故此我只好退一萬步， 從最低層次的邏輯了解一下行政長官之言。

先說說行政長官所說的"社會有意見"。 "社會意見"就是社會上不同的人因應自己的情況和立場對一些話題和討論有著不同想法， 內裡包括各種正與反的見解， 是一個概括性的詞語， 沒有鮮明立場。 另一個措辭是"社會主流意見"， 這代表的是曝光率較高而且被認為是較多人認識或同意的見解， 但我們必須清楚明白"主流"並不代表"正確"或"最理想"， 也不一定是最有代表性因為它只是一種綜合性的泛論， 而且它也會因時間和環境而改變。 作為一個有效的政府就必須了解"社會意見"的含糊和不確定性， 要以理據和合理的程序去支持自己的政策， 說服群眾以穩固自己的政權。 這當中不可能撇開"政治目的"。

每個政黨本身都有立場， 而市民就因其自身的立場而選擇支持那個政黨， 政黨的目標就是說服和吸納更多支持者以期獲得更多席位或成為執政黨。 所以在民主體制下， 政黨不可能偏離社會而為了"一己政治目的"， 如果他們的立場有變， 或市民發覺他們只為個人利益， 支持者自然會流失。 為了使我們的行政長官可以明白， 簡單點說， 民主體制下每個政黨都代表著一些"社會意見"。

故此， 行政長官所說的"社會有意見批評一些政黨為一己政治目的， 以法律程序及其他手段阻礙大型機建項目發展， 損害香港整體及長遠利益" ， 以現時的香港而言完全沒有邏輯可言， 也不可能成立。 有什麼情況這句說話會合邏輯 ? 有的， 在獨裁政權之下， 該政權便代表著整體， 所有其他政黨及支持那些政黨的市民都是敵人， 都是為了"一己政治目的"的敵對勢力。 因為對於只會考慮"一己政治目的"的獨裁政權而言， 所有反對聲音都是為了拉他們下台， 都是只為了奪去他們的執政權， 都是有著"一己政治目的"。 所有不同意其政策的人民都是反動， 都脫離了他們定義的整體。 那個地方切合這情況? 很多， 有一個就在眼前。 以現在特區政府推動香港改變的方向而言， 我們的行政長官非但沒有邏輯謬誤， 而且很有先見之明哩 !

STOP & FOCUS.

Song of the Week, 2011-017, Paper Aeroplane, KT Tunstall

Something has to give...

I put myself into this position, so I have to endure whatever it throws at me. Now I am not even half way through, but I can already smell the burning ash of abyss. But I have no intention to turn around, I will keep my promise, a promise that I made to myself. Not for anyone, not for anything, just for the sake of making it complete.

Song of the Week, 2011-015, Blowing in the Wind, Bob Dylan

I can't find the Bob Dylan version, probably because of copyright issue. But this cover version by Peter, Paul and Mary is nice too, so let's make do with it.

I went to the Bob Dylan concert in Hong Kong on Wednesday, it was great! love it. I sat on the 5th row, but when the concert started I just rush to the front and have fun. However he didnt sing this song in the concert, he might get tired of it or something. It is understandable, especially for an artist who look for surpassing his/her past. When everyone ask for it all the time, you just don't want to do it. The freaking attitude of artists... but anyway I am grateful that he made such a beautiful song.

This week's song is specially dedicated to the Chinese Artist, Ai Weiwei.

I was never interested in politics before I entered university. I used to find politics dirty, and thought that it is only a game for those smart-arse politicians. However two quotes changed my perception and attitude towards politics.

"First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me."
--- by Pastor Martin Niemoller

"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"
--- by Edmund Burke

I do not think that everyone have to take an extremeist stance and fight, however, people should be given space and freedom to express themselves. We also need to think about the reason for people to take extreme action, it could be due to the ineffectiveness of other channels or simply due to supression, and for current Hong Kong, it would be both.

You might think that those people have nothing to do with you, or you might even find them annoying and damaging the so called "harmony" of Hong Kong, then please do enjoy your "harmony". However please bear in mind that "harmony" is only a silent violence. You stop yourself from seeing, hearing and feeling in the name of "harmony". When one day you are "harmonized" and no one is willing to speak out for you and fight alongside with you, please blame no one but yourself.

和諧便是最大的暴力

Song of the Week, 2011-014, Slow Down, Morcheeba

Maybe I tried too hard.
Maybe I pushed too far.
Maybe it is time to slow down.
Maybe it is time to lie down.

I promise I am devoted and I can offer anything.
I guess what is most needed now is time, space and nothing.

I will let it flow,
But I am not ready to let it go.

Not yet...

Song of the Week, 2011-013, Hold On, Angus and Julia Stone

Certainty is illusion.
Phenomenon is surface.
Futility is norm.
Exertion is the only way.