Alone Again (Naturally) [Song of Suicide #2]

上一篇談到 Melpo Mene 的 I Adore You, 旋律輕快卻是自殺歌(只限傳聞及我的闡釋而已), 令我想起另一曲. 這首歌旋律聽來同樣是比較輕鬆, 但一看歌詞便會驚覺它的灰沉和悲痛. 而且相對 I Adore You 的曖昧, 這首歌劈頭就直接說出自殺意圖, 沒有一絲含糊. 毫無疑問這是一首自殺歌.

說的就是愛爾蘭唱作人 Gilbert O'Sullivan 1972年的作品 Alone Again (Naturally). 內容講述主角的配偶悔婚, 婚禮當日沒有出現, 遺下困惑的主角於教堂. 受不了這打擊, 主角決定了結自己生命, 並回開始墮進自憐的深淵. 感到被神遺棄, 又憶起父母離去的悲傷. 歌詞相當灰暗抑鬱.

由於 Youtube 不容許 embedding, 請移玉步到 [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_P-v1BVQn8]欣賞. 另外, 歌詞置於文末.

Youtube 這個 embedding 禁止, 正好讓我帶入有關這首歌的另一話題. 這曲在英美的受歡迎程度固然是一項成就, 其影響力卻不止於此, 在音樂創作方面要說這曲影響深遠也絕不誇張. 想說的就是 1991 年的 Grand Upright Music Ltd. 對 Warner Bros. Records Inc. 的版權官司. 當年 Warner Bros 旗下的紐約 rapper Biz Markie 用了部分 Alone Again (Naturally) 於他自己的專輯 I Need A Haircut. 在這之前用原作 sample 於 mixing 在 hip-hop 一向十分普遍. 但是這場官司 Warner Bros 最後敗訴了, 這就立下了必須要取得版權擁有者同意才可以採用歌曲作 sample 的案例. 這可說是對 hip-hop 音樂來一個番天覆地, 從此改變了 hip-hop 創作. 所以不要輕視這自殺歌.

Alone Again (Naturally)

In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to who
Ever what it's like when you're shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Where people saying: "My god, that's tough
She's stood him up
No point in us remaining
We may as well go home"
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to well wouldn't do
The role i was about to play
But as if to knock me down
Reality came around
And without so much, as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me in doubt
Talk about God and His mercy
Or if He really does exist
Why did He desert me in my hour of need
I truly am indeed Alone again, naturally

It seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?

Alone again, naturally
Now looking back over the years
And whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears

And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul,
Couldn't understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally